What Is A Father?

What Is A Father?

Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines ‘Father’ as a male parent, a man who has begotten a child.  That’s pretty straight forward and to the point. A father is simply a male parent. For most of the world that is exactly how they choose to see a father. Our society has downgraded the father from an integral part of the family to nothing more than the male component of the genetic material needed to make a child.

In a mere 30 years we have gone from fathers holding a respected role in the home and family, to family’s depicted as having no father, or the father is a weak idiot prone to the whims of his family, and in most cases better off without a father. Our society has relegated fathers to the brunt of bad jokes and fall guys for gag comedy. Once we had Andy Taylor (The Andy Griffith Show), Steve Douglas (My Three Sons), Ward Clever (Leave it to Beaver), Jim Anderson (Father Knows Best), Mike Brady (The Brady Bunch), Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable (The Cosby Show), and James Evans Sr. (Good Times). Now we have embraced buffoons like Homer Simpson (The Simpsons), Al Bundy (Married with Children), and Peter Griffin (Family Guy) as our mentors and examples of fatherhood.

The God Standard

According to God’s standards, anyone who is a father must first be a husband (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). Therefore, in order for us to be a good father we must first be good husbands. One must love, honor, nourish and cherish his wife in every aspect of her life (Ephesians 5:25-30; Colossians 3:19; 1 Peter 3:7). Only then will one be prepared to be a good father.

As a father, the apostle Paul, says, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord“ (Ephesians 6:4). In these few words, the Holy Spirit speaks to us of responsibility, accountability and possibility. This is the requirement of us to be good fathers..

Responsibility:

A father’s primary responsibility is not to provoke their children to wrath.  A father is not to purposefully do things that make their children scornful, angry, resentful, discouraged, or bitter (Colossians 3:21). What we may not always realize is that there is a difference between doing something that is right for them, yet does not meet with their approval (disciplining them or setting boundaries) and doing something that angers them for no good reason (meaningless rules because you are “in charge”). In many cases, there is a fine line between the two.

In many homes today, children are provoked to wrath because of the father’s absence. Sometimes, the mother has chosen a lifestyle that excludes a father, sometimes for selfish reasons. They (and their children) will have to deal with these consequences. More often than not, the reason a home does not feel a father’s presence is due to the neglect, irresponsibility, and selfishness of said father. In many seemingly normal homes, children are provoked to anger because the father is simply too busy to be a father. In others, the father is too overbearing. And in some cases, the father is abusive, both physically and emotionally. 

Train Up A Child

Another aspect of a father’s responsibility is to bring his children up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Under Christ, the father is the spiritual head of the home (Ephesians 5:22-24; 1 Corinthians 11:3). His presence should be felt in the home, in its rules, its worship, and through the father’s gentle love, leadership, and example. One of our biggest problems is that too many fathers are not Godly men. 

Too many people do not understand what it means to “bring their children up in the training and admonition of the Lord”. Children need to be taught from a young age about the Lord and must be taught to live by the Lord’s commands (1 Timothy 3:15; Deuteronomy. 6:5-9).

Training and admonition involve more than simply discipline or punishment. They indicate that a father needs to spend time instructing and training his children to do what is right and to how to know the difference. They must be instructed how to do that which is good and avoid those things which are evil. The best way to teach a child is to show them by example the straight and narrow path that leads to Heaven. Then remind them to stay on that path.

Accountability:

Children are a blessing from the Lord (Psalm 127:3-5). Holy Spirit gave this charge regarding our children to the father. He did not give it to the mother, though their role is absolutely necessary. Nor did he give it to the daycare, the babysitter, or the nanny. He did not give it to the grandparents, the church, the school, or the youth program. He gave it to fathers. Therefore, fathers will bear the accountability and the consequence for failing to carry it out or the reward for so doing. 

Possibility:

This verse speaks of responsibility and accountability, but it also speaks of possibility. The possibility of:

• bringing up Godly children despite the immorality and wickedness of the world we live in.
• creating a strong bond between a father and his children all the days of their life.
• content, well-adjusted children who love God and their families.
• Godly men leading Godly homes in a Godly way that brings up Godly children.

As fathers, we men are Responsible and Accountable to God, to bring our families and our children into the fullness of the Possibilities that lie before them living a Godly life.

While I am not yet a father, I’d love to hear how you’ve been raising your children in the “fear and admonition of the Lord. How have you been Responsible and Accountable to bring forth the Possibilities in them? Let me know with a comment here…

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